Episode #9: Your Lover Lying To You Is Partly Your Fault
 
Introduction
In Episode #9 of The Hilary Silver Podcast, "Your Lover Lying To You Is Partly Your Fault," Hilary dives into the complexities of how our own actions and reactions can inadvertently invite dishonesty in our relationships. Building on the insights from the previous episode about trust and truth-telling, this episode shifts focus to self-reflection and understanding the role we play in fostering either truth or deceit from others.
 
Episode Highlights
Exploring the dynamic of how reactions to truth can deter honesty.
Practical tips on creating a safe environment that encourages open and honest communication.
Understanding the impact of one’s demeanor and reactions in conversations.
Insights into the internal and external consequences of inviting lies through our behaviors.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:00–00:05:00] Hilary introduces the topic by discussing how our emotional reactions to others' honesty can discourage them from being truthful with us. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in our responses to foster an environment conducive to honesty.
[00:05:01–00:10:00] The conversation shifts to how certain personality traits, such as strong emotional responses, can lead people to withhold the truth to avoid conflict or hurt feelings.
[00:10:01–00:15:00] Hilary provides strategies for encouraging truthful interactions, including "rolling out the red carpet for the truth," a metaphor for actively inviting honest feedback in personal and professional relationships.
[00:15:01–00:20:00] The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to reflect on their behaviors and make necessary adjustments to promote honesty in all relationships.
Listener Takeaways
Self-Reflection is Key: Understanding your own reactions and how they may affect others' willingness to be honest with you is crucial.
Foster Safe Environments: Actively work to create spaces where people feel safe to share their truths without fear of negative reactions.
Encourage Honesty: Implement strategies like inviting honest feedback and being open to it, regardless of its nature.
Personal Growth: Recognize and accept that fostering a truthful environment starts with you and requires ongoing effort and adaptability.
This episode encourages listeners to look inward and examine how their own behaviors might be contributing to a lack of honesty in their relationships and provides actionable advice on how to cultivate a more open and truthful interaction with others.

Episode #8: Speak Your Truth & Stop Betraying Yourself
 
Introduction
In this episode, Hilary dives into the intricate dynamics of trust within relationships, emphasizing the often overlooked ways we may inadvertently betray ourselves and others. She discusses the distinction between factual honesty and emotional truth, and how failing to express the latter can deteriorate trust and intimacy in relationships.
 
Episode Highlights
Understanding the foundational role of trust in relationships.
Identifying the subtle ways we break trust without realizing it.
The impact of not sharing our emotional truths.
Practical advice on how to be more honest and trustworthy in personal and professional relationships.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:01] - Hilary opens the discussion on the importance of being honest in relationships.
[00:00:36] - Introduction to the topic of trust as the foundation of relationships.
[00:01:00] - Discussion on building and breaking trust.
[00:01:17] - Self-reflection on personal trustworthiness.
[00:01:47] - Encouragement to consider how trust applies in personal contexts.
[00:03:01] - Exploration of factual honesty vs. emotional truth.
[00:06:02] - How unshared truths sabotage relationships at work.
[00:10:31] - Real-life examples of how we lie to avoid discomfort or conflict.
[00:17:01] - A case study on a couple dealing with smoking and trust issues.
[00:20:55] - Closing remarks on the importance of honesty and how to improve communication in relationships.
Listener Takeaways
Recognize Trustworthy Actions: Be aware of the ways you might be breaking trust, even unintentionally, and take steps to become more trustworthy by aligning your words with your true feelings.
Value Emotional Honesty: Understand that sharing your emotional truth is just as important as factual truth for maintaining healthy relationships.
Communicate Clearly and Honestly: Encourage open and honest communication in your relationships to build deeper connections and trust.
Reflect on Personal Contributions: Regularly ask yourself how you are contributing to either the strength or weakness of your relationships through your level of honesty and integrity.
This episode encourages listeners to be more mindful of their interactions and the importance of honesty in fostering genuine connections and trust.

Episode 7: Stop Sacrificing Yourself For Others
 
Introduction
Hello, listeners! Welcome back to this week's episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast. In today's episode, titled "Why We Should All Quit Being Selfless (and how this benefits everyone)," we take on the notion of selflessness and its impact on our lives and those around us. We often hear that being selfless is virtuous, but could it be causing more harm than good? Let's explore how embracing a more self-centered approach can lead to healthier relationships and a happier, more authentic life.
 
Episode Highlights:
Understanding selflessness and its hidden costs.
The difference between being selfless and being centered in oneself.
Interviews and discussions with my Creative Director about real-life experiences and professional insights.
Practical advice on shifting from selflessness to being self-centered in a healthy way.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00:00] - Introduction to the topic and its importance.
[00:01:15] - Hilary shares personal stories and insights on selflessness.
[00:15:00] - Discussion with guest Jess about societal expectations and personal experiences.
[00:30:00] - Practical tips on how to start prioritizing oneself.
[00:45:00] - Q&A session with listeners, addressing their struggles and questions.
 
Listener Takeaways:
Self-Centered is Not Wrong: Understanding that prioritizing yourself is not selfish but essential for your well-being and the well-being of others around you.
Reevaluate Personal Values: Encourages listeners to reconsider what they've been taught about selflessness and to understand the positive impacts of being more self-centered.
Practical Steps to Change: Offers actionable advice on how to shift from a selfless to a self-centered mindset without guilt.
Empowerment Through Self-Prioritization: Highlights how taking care of yourSELF without resorting to negative coping mechanisms or internalization (which leads to dis-ease) leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
 
Resources
YOU Really Are The Center of The Universe

Episode 6: How To Stop Emotional Eating
Introduction
Hello, Listeners! Welcome back to this week’s episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast. Join me as I dive into the world of emotional eating, where I share both my personal journey and family history with food along with my professional insights. Today, we're exploring how our relationships with food are deeply intertwined with our emotions, shaped by everything from family dynamics to societal pressures. We'll uncover practical strategies for aligning your eating habits with my signature self-centered approach that emphasizes true self-love, steering clear of temporary fixes through food. Get ready to reclaim control and foster a genuine connection with yourSELF.
 
Episode Highlights:
Understanding the distinction between eating for fuel and emotional eating.
Insights into the misuse of food as a response to emotional needs.
Hilary's personal journey and professional experiences related to food and body image.
Practical advice on how to confront and change emotional eating behaviors.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] - Introduction to emotional eating.
[03:00] - Personal stories and the impact of family habits on eating behaviors.
[10:00] - The role of medications like Ozempic in managing weight and why they’re only temporary fixes.
[20:00] - Strategies for recognizing and altering emotional eating patterns.
[30:00] - The "five-minute meditation" tool for dealing with cravings.
[40:00] - Closing thoughts and takeaways on self-awareness and food.
 
Listener Takeaways:
Awareness is Key: Recognizing when you are eating to fill emotional voids rather than physical hunger is the first step to change.
Strategies for Change: Techniques such as the "five-minute meditation" can help pause and reconsider our choices before succumbing to cravings.
Empowerment Through Education: Understanding the psychological triggers that lead to emotional eating can empower us to make healthier decisions.
Embrace the Self-Centered Approach: Learn to navigate your emotional landscape without resorting to food, alcohol, or shopping as coping mechanisms. This episode underscores Hilary's signature message: caring for yourSELF is the cornerstone of wellness. By staying true to yourSELF and loving yourSELF, you can make choices that genuinely nourish both your body and soul, leading to lasting happiness and health.
 
Resources
The 5 Minute Pre-Meal Ritual
 
Disclaimer: The Hilary Silver Podcast
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of anyone else. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. 
Reference to any specific product or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by the host. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.
The content here should not be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical or psychiatric questions.
Contact information: media@hilarysilver.com

Episode 5: Your Questions Answered! Narcissism, Romance, Therapy & More
 
Introduction
Hello, listeners! Welcome back to The Hilary Silver Podcast. Today’s episode is a special one—it’s our very first BONUS Q&A session! We’ve been receiving so many insightful and thought-provoking questions from you all, and it’s time we dive into them. From dealing with complex relationship dynamics to uncovering the hidden roots of anxiety, we’re covering a range of topics to give you the clarity and tools you need. So sit back, tune in, and let’s get started on this journey of discovery together. Remember, this is not just about finding answers—it’s about empowering you to take control of your life and relationships. Let’s join the conversation with Hilary and her Creative Director, Jessica Lynn.
 
Episode Highlights:
First ever BONUS Q&A episode with listener-submitted questions
Deep dives into anxiety, narcissism, and relationship challenges
Practical advice on recognizing and dealing with gaslighting
Insights on choosing effective therapists or coaches
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 - Introduction: Kicking off our first Q&A session
00:26 - Anxiety Insights: Exploring deeper issues beyond anxiety
15:42 - Narcissism and Relationships: Strategies for dealing with toxic behavior in relationships
37:15 - Handling Gaslighting: Effective approaches to address and confront gaslighting behavior
52:50 - Therapy and Coaching: Choosing the right help for personal growth and healing
Listener Takeaways:
Understand how deeper issues might manifest as anxiety and what you can do about it
Learn to identify and respond to narcissistic traits and gaslighting in relationships
Gain tips on selecting a therapist or coach who can provide not just support, but practical steps toward improvement
Empower yourself with the knowledge and confidence to address personal and relational challenges effectively
 
Resources
Boundaried
Ready For Love
 
 
Disclaimer: The Hilary Silver Podcast
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of anyone else. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. 
Reference to any specific product or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by the host. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.
The content here should not be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical or psychiatric questions.
Contact information: media@hilarysilver.com

Episode 4: The ONLY Cure For Anxiety. What No One Else Is Saying
 
Introduction
Welcome to Episode #4 of The Hilary Silver Podcast, "The ONLY Cure For Anxiety. What No One Else Is SayingToday," Hilary challenges the conventional understanding of anxiety, revealing why it is merely a symptom of deeper issues rather than the core problem itself. Join us as we uncover the root causes of anxiety and learn practical strategies to eliminate it permanently.
Hilary dives deep into the mechanics of anxiety, debunking common misconceptions and providing a fresh perspective on how to effectively eradicate it by fostering a profound connection with oneself. Whether you're occasionally anxious or dealing with it on a more chronic level, this episode offers transformative insights and actionable advice to help you lead a calmer, more fulfilled life.
Ready to transform your relationship with yourself and conquer anxiety for good? Let’s join the conversation.
 
Episode Highlights:
Understanding the true nature of anxiety as a symptom, not the core issue.
Exploring the root causes of anxiety and how to address them effectively.
Practical strategies to permanently overcome anxiety and build a stronger relationship with oneself.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00:00] - Opening thoughts: Making a decision about your well-being.
[00:00:28] - Introduction to the prevalence of anxiety and its impact.
[00:01:58] - Why treating only the symptoms of anxiety is a temporary solution.
[00:03:00] - Anxiety as a symptom of deeper, unaddressed issues.
[00:04:00] - How avoiding primary emotions leads to anxiety.
[00:07:00] - The concept of anxiety as a 'warning light'.
[00:10:00] - The cycle of self-abandonment and its role in perpetuating anxiety.
[00:15:00] - Empowering oneself to handle life's challenges without anxiety.
[00:20:00] - Final thoughts: Embracing life's uncertainties with strength and trust in oneself.
Listener Takeaways:
Recognize Anxiety as a Signal: Understand that anxiety is not the main problem but a symptom indicating deeper issues.
Address the Root Cause: Identify and confront the underlying emotions and situations that trigger anxiety.
Empowerment Through Self-Trust: Develop a trusting relationship with yourself to handle life’s uncertainties without fear or anxiety.
Continuous Self-Support: Commit to being your own best support system, ensuring personal growth and resilience.
Resources
The STOP Technique
Disclaimer: The Hilary Silver Podcast
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of anyone else. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. 
Reference to any specific product or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by the host. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.
The content here should not be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical or psychiatric questions.
Contact information: media@hilarysilver.com

Episode 3: Why Therapy Keeps You Stuck (From This Former Therapist)
 
Introduction
Welcome back to the Hilary Silver Podcast. Today’s episode is particularly close to my heart. As a former certified psychotherapist, I’ve seen the ins and outs of the therapy world, and I’ve come to some controversial conclusions. Today’s conversation is about why I believe the traditional therapy model is failing us, and is holding us back from truly addressing and resolving our deeper issues. Whether you’re a therapy veteran, a skeptical newcomer, or a fellow professional in the field, this episode promises to challenge some of your fundamental beliefs about what healing looks like. Stay tuned as we unpack the reasons behind quitting conventional therapy and explore more dynamic ways to foster personal growth and self-reliance.
 
Episode Highlights:
Hilary’s Critique of Traditional Therapy: Hear Hilary’s compelling reasons for her growing disillusionment with traditional therapy practices.
The Repetitive Cycle: Insights into the repetitive nature of problems presented in therapy and why this pushed Hilary to seek a change.
Introducing a New Method: Hilary introduces her new method aimed at quicker, more effective results by focusing on empowerment and education rather than prolonged dependency.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00:00 - 00:02:00] Opening remarks and Hilary’s bold statement on her current stance on therapy.
[00:02:01 - 00:10:00] Discussion on the inefficiencies of traditional therapy, focusing on therapist training and client dependency.
[00:10:01 - 00:20:00] Hilary shares her personal journey from practicing therapist to a coach and why she felt compelled to leave the traditional path.
[00:20:01 - 00:30:00] Explanation of the Hilary Silver Method, including the structure, goals, and the expected outcomes for clients.
[00:30:01 - 00:40:00] Addressing common concerns about switching from traditional therapy to new methods.
[00:40:01 - 00:45:00] Closing thoughts and a call to action for listeners to reassess their therapy choices.
 
Listener Takeaways:
Rethink Therapy: Consider whether traditional therapy is meeting your needs or if alternative methods might lead to quicker, more lasting change.
Self-Empowerment: Embrace approaches that prioritize self-empowerment and education over dependency.
Ask Questions: When engaging with any therapy or coaching, clarify goals, methods, and expected outcomes.
Be Proactive: Take an active role in your healing and personal growth journey, challenging the status quo if it’s not working for you.
Seek Results: Focus on approaches that promise not just to help you feel better temporarily but to be better in the long term.
 
Resources
Courses and online trainings that are designed to help you make progress in ALL areas of your life – don’t just feel better, be better.
 
 
Disclaimer: The Hilary Silver Podcast
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of anyone else. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. 
Reference to any specific product or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by the host. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.
The content here should not be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical or psychiatric questions.
Contact information: media@hilarysilver.com

Episode 2: High Achieving Women Have Low Self Worth
 
Introduction
Welcome back to The Hilary Silver Podcast! Today, we’re peeling back the layers on why so many talented, successful women face challenges in love. Inspired by the new JLo documentary on Amazon Prime, we’ll explore how even the most accomplished among us can struggle with issues of self-worth and intimacy in their personal lives. Join me for this deep dive into the paradox of success in career versus challenges in love.
Episode Highlights:
The JLo Effect: Understanding how JLo's personal and public life provides a unique lens through which we can understand the love challenges of successful women.
Self-Worth vs. Success: A deep dive into why external achievements often mask internal struggles with self-esteem and self-worth.
Cultural Expectations and Personal Relationships: How societal pressures shape the romantic lives of women who are perceived as "having it all."
Practical Takeaways: Tips on navigating self-worth, setting realistic expectations for love, and why understanding personal value is key to healthier relationships.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00:00–00:05:00] Hilary introduces the topic and shares her initial thoughts on the JLo documentary and its relevance to the struggles of high-achieving women in love.
[00:05:01–00:15:00] Discussion on the dichotomy between public success and private emotional challenges, featuring insights into JLo's personal anecdotes from the documentary.
[00:15:01–00:25:00] Analysis of societal pressures on successful women and the impact on their romantic choices.
[00:25:01–00:35:00] Strategies for women to reconcile their public achievements with their private needs and desires in love.
[00:35:01–00:45:00] Q&A session with listeners sharing their stories and seeking advice on similar issues.
 
Listener Takeaways:
Self-Reflection: Encourages listeners to consider how their public successes might be influencing their private emotional states.
Empowerment through Understanding: Offers insights into how societal narratives can dictate personal happiness and what can be done to change that script.
Community Support: Engages the community for a broader conversation about love, success, and the interplay between the two.
Resources
The Greatest Love Story Never Told
Amazon Original
This Is Me… Now (A Love Story)
Amazon Original
Ready For Love A revolutionary 12 week transformational program for high achieving women who aren’t willing to settle for single and want to find their true, equal partner.
 
 
Disclaimer: The Hilary Silver Podcast
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of anyone else. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. 
Reference to any specific product or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by the host. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.
The content here should not be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical or psychiatric questions.
Contact information: media@hilarysilver.com

Episode 1: The Personality Type That Attracts Narcissists
Introduction
Welcome to the very first episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast! You're probably already aware that narcissism is everywhere—from Instagram to top-chart podcasts and headline news. But while it's important to recognize narcissistic behaviors for our safety and well-being, there's a part of the conversation that's often overlooked: how our obsession is preventing us from focusing on our own growth and protection.
 
In today's episode, we'll delve into why this shift in focus is crucial and how you can start to make those changes. Discover why focusing too much on spotting narcissists is just plain counterproductive and what you can do instead.
Episode Highlights:
Narcissism in the Spotlight: Explore why narcissism has captured our collective attention and what this means for our personal development.
Self-Protection vs. Narcissist Identification: Learn how the current focus on identifying narcissists could be making us miss crucial self-protective strategies.
Empowerment Through Self-Awareness: Discover strategies to narcissist-proof your life not by focusing outward, but by strengthening your own self-awareness and boundaries.
Insights and Anecdotes: Hilary shares personal anecdotes and insights from her years of clinical practice, illustrating how a deeper understanding of oneself can lead to true empowerment.
In this episode you’ll learn…
The Cultural Obsession with Narcissism: Why are we so focused on this particular personality trait?
The Impact of Hyper-Vigilance: How does constantly being on the lookout for narcissists affect our mental health and relationships?
Shifting the Focus: Practical tips on how to shift the focus from others to oneself to ensure personal growth and safety.
Bonus Content: Don't forget to grab the free download "How to Narcissist Proof Your Life”. This guide will help you apply the insights from today’s discussion to your everyday life.
 
Resources
How to Narcissist Proof Your Life
 
 
Disclaimer: The Hilary Silver Podcast
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of anyone else. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. 
Reference to any specific product or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by the host. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.
The content here should not be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical or psychiatric questions.
Contact information: media@hilarysilver.com

Welcome to The Hilary Silver Podcast. Hilary started this podcast to invite listeners into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you more successful in love and life by turning your focus towards the only person who really matters in your life: YOU. (Yeah, she said it). This isn’t a self-care podcast – it’s a self-centered one.
Why? Because, despite what your mom told you, you really are the center of the universe. Sound cringey? Scary? Selfish?
Good. It’s discomfort that is going to empower listeners to take radical responsibility for the only person they can change (hint: it’s the person staring back at them in the mirror).
The conversations on The Hilary Silver Podcast are designed to challenge long held beliefs about life, relationships and ourselves. Forget what you think you know about narcissism, relationships, therapy, anxiety, “successful” women & dating, wellness & aging, and a whole host of other topics that have all been talked to death… but never like this.
Hilary is the psychotherapist turned paradigm-shifting, script-flipping disrupter listeners didn’t know they needed in their lives… until now. She’s part woo, part neuroscience, and 100% no bullshit. And she's here to help you become self-centered so you can become self-assured, self-made, self-loved, self-aware, self-reliant, self-sufficient, self-motivated, and some more!
New episodes drop every Wednesday (Tuesdays for subscribers). Please follow and leave a 5-star review (unless you didn’t enjoy it and then you can listen to your mom: if you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything at all).